Noble Roman's at Suburban Hospital Food Review

7" Individual (Sausage) Pizza

Noble Roman's. The name alone doesn't necessarily scream pizza, but when you're stuck at a hospital all day (even one as nice as Bethesda's Suburban Hospital) you're willing to "expand your horizons." Unfortunately, not even the wildest imagination could cover up one of the worst pies I've had this year (or last.) I suppose you can cross "terrible pizza at a hospital" off my bucket list.

I know what you're thinking. Come on Peter, you're at a hospital: What were you expecting... Brick-oven goodness? Of course not, but despite its relatively tasty appearance and value (7" individual one-topping pies cost just $5.19, $4.49 for cheese) eventually you have to eat it, right? That's where Noble Roman's ran into trouble.

Please don't call yourself "the better pizza people," if you're gonna roll out a messy mix of mozzarella and muenster cheese atop a doughy, slightly undercooked crust, and expect me anyone to like it. Even a generous amount of sausage can't mask the combination of bad cheese and dough. It's gooey, but miles from delicious. I managed to scarf down a quarter slice, before pushing my plate away. Their website promises "fresh-packed, un-condensed sauce with secret spices, parmesan cheese and vine-ripened tomatoes from the fields of California," but I struggled to taste any tomato at all (canned or otherwise.)

It only took a couple of minutes for my pizza to arrive; so it's probably a safe bet, the cooking process is to blame. Perhaps a higher temperature, or an extra minute or two in the oven would help? At the very least, keep the muenster far, far away... It simply doesn't play well with traditional mozzarella. Then again, who's crazier... Noble Roman's for serving it, or me for expecting more? On a positive note, they have Acai-blueberry-pomegranate Vitamin Water as a fountain drink option (I gave up sodas last week.) At least it wasn't a total disaster.