Monday, February 17, 2014

Vince & Dominic's Pizzeria Food Review

I'm all for nostalgia and tradition; but never at the expense of good food. I can only assume that Vince & Dominic's Pizzeria is counting on the former; since the food I paid for, was... in a word, terrible. Even the most forgiving of taste buds would have a hard time trying to force this grub down. Pair that with shoddy service and an outdated decor that screams 1981, and you have one of the worst restaurants (and I use that term loosely) in Bethesda.

It's not easy finding it (Vince & Dominic's is in the Home Depot strip mall, two long blocks from Montgomery Mall) but with my luck... I did. What a shame, since it took about 30 seconds to regret it. I'd read positive reviews on Yelp; but Yelpers never cease to amaze confound, and I had to try for myself. I mosied up to the counter and waited... and waited... and waited. Almost three minutes before the gruff owner/manager appeared, and asked, "Do you want to order something?" No dummy, I'm just standing here for no reason, in awe of the "beauty" surrounding me. Looking back, little did I know it was my last chance to escape this dump.

Small Burger Sub

The aforementioned owner/manager seems to be one of those no-nonsense guys who probably has no trouble saying "F off" to a customer, if he has to. Lucky for me, I just got his rude side. He sarcastically answered my questions about a small burger sub, and a slice of pizza (Me: "What toppings do you have?" Him: "All of them.") My request for a burger sub with just lettuce & tomato ($6.49, no fries) seemed to knock him for a loop, "That's it?" Yes, Mr. Friendly, that's it. He should be lucky anyone orders this "food."

My total came to $12.38 (I should have asked him if he took Discover, just to see him get more annoyed) which includes $5.19 for a slice of pizza and a fountain drink. I poured myself a Fanta Birch Beer (yuck, fits this place perfectly) and took a seat (stackable chairs, nice) at one of the many empty tables. Come to think of it, 1981 seems generous. How old is this place anyhow?

My food took a long time to prepare (V&D's cooks their burgers WELL-DONE, presumably to mask the poor quality of meat.) Two 4 oz. patties turned out to be one patty cut in half (classy.) The meat was frozen and awful, with one measly slice of tomato (also cut in half... how cheap) and globs of shredded, tasteless lettuce. I almost expected someone to say, "Look at all that lettuce food!" Ha! In my notes, I jotted down, "Bethesda's Worst Burger." Congrats!

The slice of pizza was a monster... thick, stiff and heavy with lots of shredded sausage (none on the first 1/4) and undercooked, unappealing cheese. It was actually a joy to handle, but had zero flavor. I took three bites and dumped the rest. If only I had dumped the idea of coming here in the first place. I'll never mention the name of this place again... unless I decide to count down the worst eateries in town: I wonder if they'd win?

Atmosphere: F (In with the new, OUT with the old.)
Burger: F (Who cuts burgers and tomato slices in half? This dump.)
Pizza: D- (Sausage was OK, and I liked the feel of the slice; but otherwise, more bad food.)
Service: F (Reminds me of the bar owner from the old Tube Bar prank calls.)
Value: F ($6.49 for a tiny burger? At least toss a few fries on the plate, and take it easy on the lettuce.)
Overall: F (1981 called, but even they don't want this place back.)