Thursday, August 29, 2013

American City Diner Breakfast Food Review

Last December, I ripped American City Diner a new one (click here for review) and rightfully so, for an overpriced, subpar burger & fries. Last night, it was time to weigh in on breakfast... of the 7:00 PM variety, complete with loud, poorly-behaved children, their parents (just as bad, if not worse) and a train bound for nowhere.

If there's a worse dining atmosphere on Connecticut Avenue, I haven't found it (and hope I never will.) The horror begins with a surly host (not the usual owner, but a smaller, grumpier old guy) to the Chuck E. Cheese-like decibel level that accompanies having to watch small children go berserk in nearby booths as you eat awful food. Hmm, did I leave anything out?

Terror Train from above (I wonder how dirty it is, up there?)

My stance on children is pretty clear (don't have them, if at all possible) but I dare anyone who's thinking about starting a family, to feel otherwise after 15 minutes at American City Diner (especially on a Saturday or Sunday morning.) In a strange way, I can understand why some act the way they do here... Exhibit A: The choo-choo train that wraps around the main dining room, screaming overhead. Who's genius idea was this? Exhibit B: The Chevy Chase clientele, who strut around oblivious to everyone else around them (especially their children.) Note to parent, sitting across from me. If your son decides to throw his toy cars at other people, tell him to stop. It's enough to make a guy go crazy (and write a scathing review, hours later.)

Let's move on to the food, shall we? But first, please take note of another high chair on its way to a table in the back. I decided to stay within budget tonight: $8.99 for the #2 Country Kitchen Favorite (two eggs, home fries, toast and your choice of bacon or sausage) and a glass of water (free.) My server was pleasant and efficient (at least until he dropped a stack of plates a few minutes later.) After an average wait, I was presented with the top pictured plate of food. Cue tears of disappointment.

It's a sad looking plate, no? Lots of beige and brown (not counting the overcooked, yellow eggs.) Sadly, it tasted almost as bad as it looked. Who knew home fries could taste like nothing, even with green peppers and onions mixed in. Thank God for salt, or I couldn't have made a dent in either the eggs or potatoes. Toast was small in size, but good enough. The aforementioned overdone eggs were a disaster: You should never scramble eggs on a grill... ever. Thankfully, the two jumbo sausage links were surprisingly delicious (and cooked perfectly.) They were a bit greasy, but loaded with flavor.

It took less than five minutes to almost clear my plate. I still had time to kill, before an 8:00 movie at the Avalon Theatre; but you haven't lived, until you've seen two employees clear a table of four (two of which were small children.) Time to scram: Proper food digestion is overrated anyhow, don't you agree? My bill came to just $9.89 and I left a paltry $2.11 tip. The server deserved more; but my overall dining experience was poor, and I couldn't justify spending another dime in this place. I can only hope it was the last $11 I ever spend there.