Saturday, November 10, 2012

Johnny Rockets Food Review

The Original Hamburger Plate at Johnny Rockets

Johnny Rockets, We Have a Problem 

Johnny Rockets is one of those places that looks the part, but ultimately leaves you wanting better. My latest visit to their 2000 Penn location near the World Bank only cemented this opinion, as subpar food couldn't keep even worse service and surroundings from dooming this former haven of yesteryear.

I knew I was in trouble, when I walked into an almost empty restaurant at 6:30 on a Saturday night. I grabbed one of the many open tables, and waited for my server. Lucky me, I got the guy who offers no greeting (not even a hello) and a quick menu handoff. You can't argue with Johnny Rockets on price: They offer five plates for $5.49, including the Original Hamburger Plate with unlimited fries. As per usual, I ordered the basics for review and asked for the 1/3 pounder with fresh shredded iceberg lettuce, tomato, chopped onions, relish, pickle, mustard & mayonnaise. Once I got it, I regretted not scaling back on the toppings.

Before I got a chance to eat, I took the ultimate risk and used their restroom. Talk about immediate regret: This was one of the nastier bathrooms I've had the displeasure to use. Hair in the sink, excrement streaks in the toilet and no paper towels. Needless to say, I left immediately.

Back to the food (you can imagine how hungry I was now.) My Coke came with crushed ice (awesome) but without one of my guilty pleasures... the straw presentation, where the server pulls open the dispenser so I can pick a straw. It sounds silly (not to mention cheesy) but I like it. Fries were OK, but nowhere near crispy. My patty was burnt and lost inside a package of lettuce. Yum.

Without a server to talk to (dude just disappeared) I took in the overly loud music that made Hard Rock Cafe sound quiet. Not exactly appropriate for an older crowd that was barely there: Aside from me, two tables of two and a family of four at the counter were all that separated this place from emptiness. Feel free to guess how long this place will stay open if things stay as is.

$8.78 + $3.22 for a tip = $12 = lousy dinner. Never again.

Atmosphere: F (There's sh*t in the toilet. C'mon man!)
Burger: F (Burnt and covered in lettuce.)
Fries: C- (I wanted more, but that would require my server asking if I wanted/getting them. Ha!)
Price: C (Quite reasonable, but the food sucks. I almost didn't give a tip.)
Service: F
Overall: F (The bathroom alone cinches a failing grade.)