Thursday, October 22, 2015

The Last Witch Hunter Movie Review

Vin Diesel stars in The Last Witch Hunter

Say Witch Hunter!

Rotten Tomatoes Plot: The modern world holds many secrets, but the most astounding secret of all is that witches still live amongst us; vicious supernatural creatures intent on unleashing the Black Death upon the world. Armies of witch hunters battled the unnatural enemy across the globe for centuries, including KAULDER (Vin Diesel) a valiant warrior who managed to slay the all-powerful QUEEN WITCH, decimating her followers in the process. In the moments right before her death, the QUEEN curses KAULDER with her own immortality, forever separating him from his beloved wife and daughter in the afterlife. Today KAULDER is the only one of his kind remaining, and has spent centuries hunting down rogue witches, all the while yearning for his long-lost loved ones. However, unbeknownst to KAULDER, the QUEEN WITCH is resurrected and seeks revenge on her killer causing an epic battle that will determine the survival of the human race. Directed by Breck Eisner (yep, Michael's son.)

First the good news: The Last Witch Hunter is an entertaining, fun movie. Odds are, most critics will slam it; but there's enough star power (not including a white-turtlenecked Elijah Wood) and good times to hold your interest through all 106 minutes. Diesel even manages to add a few smiles and reassuring winks to his trademark arsenal of beatdowns and monotone one-liners. Of course, "every chain has a weak link," but even Eisner's silly, CGI-fueled finale can't undo Vin's heroics and Michael Caine's epic, "Look at you, you ugly bitch of a morning" line. How could any witch trump that?