Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan (r) star in The Trip to Italy |
From Bad to Worse
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The same can be said for cinema. Cinema? Sure. We just posted our 10 best movies of 2014; so why not delve deep into the gutter (that's where Hollywood keeps them, you know) for this year's 10 worst films. It's not as gratifying; but if it saves one person from wasting two hours of their valuable time (or shudder, 12 bucks) it's worth posting. For the record, I didn't see Blended.
10. The Monument's Men: How do you make WWII boring? Two words. Art history. George Clooney has been red hot of late; but you have to question his motives for force-feeding a story, few people wanted to see in the first place. Three Kings is an entertaining war movie: The Monument's Men is not.
9. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1: I wonder whose idea it was to split Mockingjay into two parts? Who's kidding who? It's all about money, money, money; yet director Francis Lawrence fails to deliver anything even remotely interesting, to justify walking away with almost $700 million. No games = no movie, no matter how many planes Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) shoots down with a bow and arrow. Bring a pillow: Odds are, you may need one.
8. Dom Hemingway: Oi, I'm British and rude. Jude Law huffs and puffs with zero filter in this British stinker. This is one safe, not worth opening.
7. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Shame on Seth MacFarlane for dropping this bomb of a movie on fans of Family Guy (and even ted.) Painfully sophomoric, it's filled with bad acting, racism and really dumb jokes. Why even bother?
6. RoboCop: Director José Padilha turns up the volume full-blast in this tragically bad idea for a remake. Void of humor, this RoboCop relies on senseless violence with zero story to make its point. Is it any wonder, I gave it an F?
5. The Interview: Perhaps the hackers (whoever they were) were just trying to spare us the misfortune of sitting through almost two hours of mindless drivel? I expected crass jokes; but didn't count on Seth Rogen laying an egg, or James Franco going rogue (Look at me! Look at me!) Thankfully, fewer people will have to experience the same let-down that I did.
4. Horrible Bosses 2: Yet another sequel that had no business being made. Outside of a still-sizzling Jennifer Aniston, there isn't one actor to be had in this laugh-less horror. Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis should be ashamed of themselves.
3. Exodus: Gods and Kings: "So let it be written, so let it be done." Ridley Scott's terrible remake of The Ten Commandments should never have been written, yet alone advertised/released as a 2 ½ hour epic. Despite an all-star cast, this movie bores on every level imaginable. Bad, bad, bad.
2. Need for Speed: Video games rarely translate well into motion pictures; but NFS manages to supplant Mortal Kombat as the worst adaptation ever. Aaron Paul is flat-out terrible, but has plenty of company... including director Scott Waugh. Any other year, this would have been #1 but...
1. The Trip to Italy: Dreadful. Insipid. Unnatural disaster. These are just some of the words I used to describe 2014's worst film, in my review. Keep in mind, I walked out after only 40 minutes; so I can only assume it got worse. Rob Brydon captures worst actor honors in a walkover; and I'm half tempted to hold a grudge against him (and everyone else associated with this so-called movie) forever.