Friday, January 15, 2010

44 Inch Chest Movie Review

Ray Winstone stars in 44 Inch Chest

Talk is Cheap

Feel like suffering through a movie where a bunch of old men talk and talk in a dark room for an hour and a half? Have I got a film for you: 44 Inch Chest, a long drawn-out yarn about a car salesman (Ray Winstone) who discovers that his wife has been cheating on him and then slips into a deep depression. His friends do all they can to help him out of his rut, including kidnapping his wife’s lover so that Winstone can exact his revenge.

44 Inch Chest is as boring as can be, despite a terrific ensemble cast including Winstone, John Hurt, Tom Wilkinson, Stephen Dillane and Ian McShane. Winstone is colorless and dull as the jilted husband. Come on now, why would anyone be that upset if your wife is played by Joanne Whalley, who used to be quite a catch (formerly married to fellow actor Val Kilmer) but at 45 looks older than most of her co-stars.

To truly understand how bad director Malcolm Venville’s pic is, look no further than the following trio of clues. Winstone and McShane were both executive producers... the kiss of death in Hollywood when stars have to foot the bill as well as act in it. Second, John Hurt appears in a black neglige (and he’s not the gay character) and the film includes this brilliant line issued by Winstone to his wife’s lover... named Loverboy by the way... “I bet she never farted in front of you.”

The ways this movie was ruined are countless, and it’s a shame as it had potential. But after sitting through 44 Inch Chest, I can see why Winstone was so depressed. Hmm, I wonder if Loverboy ever got that fart? Avoid this like the Black Death.

Grade: D