Thursday, September 3, 2015

The Transporter: Refueled Movie Review

Ed Skrein & Loan Chabanol (r) star in The Transporter: Refueled

Implausible Deniability

Rotten Tomatoes Plot: Frank Martin (played by newcomer Ed Skrein), a former special-ops mercenary, is now living a less perilous life - or so he thinks - transporting classified packages for questionable people. When Frank's father (Ray Stevenson) pays him a visit in the south of France, their father-son bonding weekend takes a turn for the worse when Frank is engaged by a cunning femme-fatale, Anna (Loan Chabanol), and her three seductive sidekicks to orchestrate the bank heist of the century. Frank must use his covert expertise and knowledge of fast cars, fast driving and fast women to outrun a sinister Russian kingpin, and worse than that, he is thrust into a dangerous game of chess with a team of gorgeous women out for revenge.

Move over Entourage, there's a new worst movie of 2015 (so far.) The Transporter: Refueled is absolutely awful... the kind of reboot that gives reboots a bad name. Skrein flops as a poor man's Jason Statham with zero personality and an apparent inability to speak above a whisper. What he says is even worse, "I don't ask questions; but when someone kidnaps my father, I ask questions." Speaking of, Stevenson (a retired spy) gets kidnapped twice... one of many holes in a lousy story. I could go on (bad accents, lame fight sequences, stop-motion stripping, wigs galore) but why bother?